i'm back, just in time to leave.

well, i felt like today would be the perfect day to restart my blog. i'm leaving for germany and the netherlands for the next three weeks, and i felt like i needed a way to keep the trip documented. (particularly a way that those without facebook could read)

anyhow. i'm pretty much ready. except for packing. i have to pack all of my clothes, and the stuff that i got for miriam and her family. and my camera. and my chargers for everything under the sun. BUT, i really am pretty much ready to go.

i ended up waking up in a panic last night, and it took several hours to get back to sleep. i probably should have taken one of the ativan pills to help me get back to sleep, but i figured i should save them for the trip.

there is definitely some anxiety going through me right now. but i always get this way before a trip. as i've never left the country, this has been particularly intensified. what if i forget something? what if i do something "wrong"? what if what if what if!?

ah well, can't let it get to me! for now, i have GOT to get some packing done!

oh, and ps. don't try removing all of the keys from a macbook in order to clean them/it. it is quite difficult to get them back on, and breaking the housing for some of them is inevitable.

hiatus?

where the fuck have i been?!

i've been up to mucho lately. sorta. mostly getting ready for the GRE/grad school.

work is going well, and i will have been at KUPK for 6 months come tuesday. that's kinda hard to believe for me. i've almost been out of school for a year, too. which is equally hard to believe.

oy, there is so much more to update, but my brain is kinda buzzing right now. i'll probably do more tomorrow.

a lot has been happening the last few weeks. for instance, our property managers have been screwing us over.

so, we're looking at trying to buy a house. in topeka.

in fact, we're going to look at a few places today. i think we've decided upon one in particular, and are going to look at it a second time, but going to give 3 more a chance. (there was one we were really gung-ho about, but it keeps alluding us. first, the realtor was "busy". then the key was missing. now, the key is STILL missing, so i'm taking that as a sign. lol

anyhow, i'll fill in more tomorrow. i'm all distracted now!

more dreams.

i need to get ready for work, but i wanted to make a short note about my dream last night, elsewise, i'll forget it.

it was an entire day at work. sorta.

i drove there, and parked my car like normal. but as i was walking, lawrence turned into chicago. and then it turned into a part of cape cod (we'll say the harwich area). right, so i'm walking along the coastline to get into my building.

i get into the building, and i realize it's now snowing outside. then i'm told that something "happened" and everyone in the office is having to physically archive everything that's been done in the last year.

so we spend the day doing this, and i start to leave to go home. still snowing, still cape cod. (it doesn't switch back to chicago). i get to my car, and notice that everyone is leaving the parking garage at the same time, they're worried about the snow. this giant hummersized vehicle almost runs me over (it is actually a tiny old daihatsu rocky, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daihatsu_Rocky revamped and place on these HUGE tires). i get into my car, finally, and turn on the radio.

a "new" bjork song was playing, and the only words i can remember her saying were "burgers and petri dish-SPONGE!" with an emphasis on the word sponge. i saw a classmate from high school, waved, and woke up as i left the parking garage.

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i'm so freaking strange.

my bizarre dream.

i just woke up from a dream that really shook me up.

in this dream, i kept hiding in the small bathroom at my parent's house. i had rowen, but not ruby in there with me, and a bunch of blankets and towels on the ground. i kept looking at this car (an OLD red chevy blazer) out the window, but the bathroom door would start to open, and i would try to close it again. i kept hearing scott talking outside the door, but i didn't want him to know i was in there watching this car.

after a while i gave up on the hiding, and said i needed to go upstairs to the fish store. (?)

i get up there, and this big, buxom black lady starts showing me the fish for sale. it was a giant swimming pool (clear) full of male betta fish, and they had the most beautiful colors. in order to get the fish, the lady has to go INTO the pool (which is on the ceiling) and pick it up. i found one that i wanted, white with green/yellow fins that were really flowy. she starts to go in, but keeps grabbing the wrong fish. all of a sudden she screams to turn out the lights, and to hit the floor.

i'm looking out the window in the "fish store" now, and there are a bunch of guys shooting people. they've all jumped out of the red chevy blazer, and are shooting people left and right. the bullets come from the guns like bees out of a hive. they are bright red (they look like embers) and completely destroy whatever they touch (which is usually a person's face). i'm watching this whole event unfold, and can't stop.

all of a sudden, one of the guys notices me, and decides he is going to start shooting me. thankfully, i fall over before any of the bullets can hit me, but they end up shooting a cop in the face. his face looked like raw hamburger meat. then, the cops manage to get them all killed, and i wake up, as i jump into the pool of fish, searching for the right one.

a) what the FUCK does that mean?
b) why do i have to have such vivid, and terrifying dreams?

we do.

well, i've not a lot to say.

i'm tired. and i'm ready for friday. i may even go drink my weight in beer. (or not)

i'm cold, too. wtf is up with this autumn?

and hungry. i'm hungry.

there is probably a lot more i could say, but the computer and i are having a disagreement.

"i love creating disappointment"

we're not deaf.. until now.

i bought some fresh mozzarella balls tonight... damn i love cheese! i know i should have made those into something, or at least IN to something... but they taste so great, i think i'll end up eating them all plain.

i am tired.

there needs to be a way for me to visit some friends. i want to see some dear, dear friends. but i don't have either the time or the money. just know, i MISS YOU!

i'm frustrated with my body. i started working out again, 'cos i've gained quite a lot of weight since i started my new job.. and i've actually put on even MORE weight since i started exercising. i hate it. so much. (okay, i NEED to get over that)

i think i'm going to watch an episode of the nanny, and then head to sleepy-land.
later folksters.