sperm donor dad

okay, just so you know, i love you.

i am so very sore today.  my body is achey all over, particularly on my hands/wrists.  all that hard work and labor!  i feel so excited to have done that work!  yay for me!  and have i mentioned how much i love my kitchen?

i REALLY need to shave right now.  my beard is allllll kinds of crazy.  i need to trim my nails too. yeah, i've kinda let myself go the past few days/weeks :]  

last two things:

-i dropped my ENG 570 class 'cos i was reading 2 books a week JUST for that class.  which doesn't bother me, and i liked the professor, but when combined with the classes i actually NEED in order to graduate, it was just too much.

-i bought a new tv.  (don't judge me!) and now i get all kinds of television channels!  i just used to get around 23 channels, now i get something like 100!  and am paying no more for the cable bill!  and, now i'll be able to see the characters on my wii!  (i originally had a 19" tv, now i have a 32" tv LOL.  i feel so gluttonous!)

okay.  later folks.

so much!

i'm feeling better.  i've had a lot on my mind the past few weeks, and i got to discuss it in depth with scott this evening.  very important.  we dealt with a lot of "ickyness" and got to the core of our problems.

the reason for my *SIGH* post, was 'cos i wanted to go on and on about my life, but i just felt "blah" all day, so that's all i could muster.  i am, however, feeling a bit better.  (the headache is still here, but my throat doesn't hurt quite so bad)

i developed a topic/argument for my revision paper.  now i just need to write it.  which i am going to do all day tomorrow (until class at 1) and the come home and work on it after work.  (and hopefully, if not have it complete, finish it up on friday morning. it's due friday afternoon)

then i'll work on the ENG 334 paper.  dealing with altruism and egoism in "ethan frome" and "my antonia" -- sorry, i don't have the energy to italicize those tonight.  i'm a bit tired right now.  (but needed to get some more off my chest)

it has come to my attention, that i need a bigger bed.  the bed we have is simply too small for the two of us, plus the dog.  for being only 35lbs she is quite large, and takes up more bedspace than i do!  she is most definitely a sprawler.  i know the bed i want, and the mattress too, but i don't have 700$ to replace the one i have right now.  lol.  (this isn't to say the one we have right now isn't fantastic, it's just so small (a "full" size).  

phone is still crap.  i have to turn it off, take out the battery, and let it sit for 5m (STILL) but, at least that takes care of it.  B"H.  january 16th will be here before i know it, and it'll be replaced quite easily.  

i got a fantastic holiday card from judith and danny yesterday [tuesday], that REALLY made my week!  they are such fantastic people!  (i also got a package from hyundai with an accessory for my car, LOL random, but very cool)  and i've realized, that professor isn't really half bad.  (tuesday was quite a good day for me)

finally.  i've been listening to gershwin's "rhapsody in blue" quite a bit lately.  i'm not sure why, it's a bit cheesy, but it makes me feel good.  that and devendra banhart.  (and had a big reawakening with Hedwig today too.  so i'm going to watch it this weekend at some point, for sure.)

that's it for now.  i need sleep, it's already 2a!

isn't it always about school?

i need to clean my house.  hardcore.  it is such a mess right now, but i've had no time to do it!

אין לי זמן לעשות שום דבר

mostly, i need to sweep the floors, and vacuum my area rug.  other than that, everything is just "clutter".  so i think after i finish this, i'll do just that.  (and maybe fold some laundry)  this is particularly important as L&L are for sure! coming over on sunday, and i don't want the first time they see my house for it to be a pigsty!

גם אני רוצה שטום יכל ללבת לבית שלי בערב שבת

אבל אני חושב שסקוט עושה לטום לא נוחות

i need to read the first book of One of Ours for class on thursday as well.  (not to mention some TS Eliot, WB Yeats, and katherine mansfield on top of that)

AND, finally, i need a new pair of shoes.  my chucks have all but fallen apart (and it's now a "problem" at work) and the sole has worn through on my blue speedcats.  i'm reluctant to spend 75$ on a pair of shoes right now.  *sigh*

**edit** i found a pair of coffee/yellow speedcats for on sale, but they are still quite pricey.  i'm debating.. but i'll probably get them.

mind-ƒu¢k

okay, as promised, here is a more substantive blog.

i have to write a paper for my ENG 314 class (due tuesday) and i haven't a clue what to write about.  :(  i've resigned to the fate that i'll never do well in that class.

other news?

my phone died today.  frustratingly.  especially 'cos i have several months before i can upgrade it.  and it was dead-dead.  like, it wouldn't hold a signal at all.  i couldn't send a text 'cos the screen would lock up in the midst of typing.  it rang, but i couldn't answer it (or tell who was calling to me)  i went to the verizon store in topeka, and paid 55$ for a refurbished phone (the same type)  so, who knows if this one will work either.. but, i suppose it's fixed for now (unfortunately, i had to cough up 55$ which was very uncool)

good news?

i got to watch my little sister in her play (Our Town) and she was very good as Mrs. Gibbs!  i was quite impressed!  all the kiddos were pretty good, but i gotta say, my sister was really good hahaha!  

friday night, i ended up talking to my friend tom until 6a.  needless to say, i was cranky as fuck saturday and today.  hahaha.  but, the conversation was some of the best mental stimulation i've had in a while (that isn't to say i don't get a lot from my friends, but it was almost 10 full hours of philosophizing and speculating and talking about the universe)  --  or as i like to call it, the best brain sex i've had in a while lol.

i'm trying to plan a trip for myself up to minneapolis in either january or march.  we'll see.  but i really need to get away.  i'm wearing myself far too thin down here in kansas right now.  i'm barely sure i'll be able to make it to january, i don't know if i could make it to march...  i need a little time to be with myself.  think my thoughts.  spend a little time getting to know my new car, and not having to take care of a puppy/husband for a couple of days.  (i've been with scott over 5 years now, and i haven't really even had any time away from him in those 5 years)  i'm not saying that our relationship has any issues, but i think a bit of a break for both of us could strengthen our relationship a bit.  (maybe solidify some things).

okay, that was long.  and drawn out.  thanks for reading if you did!  

i need a title.

i was singing along to some LOUD ass black-lady gospel music today, when a knock came at the door. embarrassing!

anyhow, today i'm feeling a bit better, though still embittered. for serious. i think this will rage inside me for a very long time. california is really one of the only places that i could have seen gay marriage lasting. i think this is going to speak volumes for how the rest of the country is going to go. whatever. fucking morons.

what else did i do today?
i did shit tons of dishes. went to class. worked on a paper. cleaned a bit of the house. had dinner at this new deli in town (pretty yummy mavis, we should eat there sometime). listened to odd music. got my winter installment of burt's beeswax lip balm (i get one every winter). thought about someone.

i also watched it flurry today! for real! i was sitting in my ENG 314 class, and it's on the top floor of wescoe, and i noticed the rain was acting funny. it was acting funny, 'cos it was, in fact, snowflurries, NOT rain! it was very soothing to watch, though it only lasted about 3 minutes.

i still really like my new car. it's very nice being able to have the hatch unlocked without having to get the keys out when i'm trying to put ruby in there.

fixin' shit

it's 5.25p and 47°F.  i wish i could go for a bike ride, but it's already getting dark 'cos of the cloud cover.  

barf.  i just finished my ENG 334 midterm and i'm not really sure how i feel about it. oh well, it's done.  

anyhow, i also got an hours worth of ink put in my arm today.  yay!  judith actually got a WHOLE lot done in that hour.  horray!  yay for that!

i need to go figure out this thermocoupler thing now.

היום לא טוב בשבילי :(

today has been pretty awful.  

i woke up from terrible, terrible dreams.  i can't really recall what occurred, but i woke up shaking and sweating a great deal.

then i was brushing my teeth and kept hearing "drip. drip. drip."  i eventually figured out it was my saltwater tank.  the intake for the vivarium had become clogged, and it pooled almost all of the water into the main unit.  so, it was over flowing.  and since it hadn't been getting fresh water through, it stank.  i spent about an hour and a half picking up the mess.  

while i was doing that, ruby decided to rip up the quilt i made back when i was not going to school.  i'm so sad that she decided to destroy something i worked so hard on :(

then, i forgot my working bibliography for my REL term paper which was due today.  (the bib. was due)  which wasn't that awful.  

(the highlight was my western civ class (OMGWTF?!) 'cos i have kindofacrush on the professor. LOLZ)

at work i learned that the douchebag district manager is trying harder than ever to get me to quit (not fire me though, 'cos then i'd be able to collect unemployment from the company).  wtf. i've worked there for over 7motherfucking years.  i'm quitting in august, can't you just leave me the fuck alone for the next 10 months?  BUT i learned that corey stuck up for me!  that's pretty fantastic.

on another awesome note- i decided to purchase (one of) madhur jaffrey's cookbook.  it's the same book that the mixed veggie dish i made the other night came from, and it has lots of great recipes!  

for now, i'm going to read for my T, R classes.  take care 

לילה טוב חברים שלי וגם זבור שאתם נחמדים ואני אוהב אותכם

זה סבבה להקליד בעברית שוב 

עם אתם יודעים מה אני מקליד מצוין

i gotta say.

i've got to say, it has to be awfully depressing to live in the same city/county for your entire life.  it's depressing enough knowing i've lived in kansas my whole life.. but even moreso, to have lived in the same house for over 55 years...  that'd be the most depressing thing ever.  

i'm referring to my dumbass neighbor.  he's lived in that house since he was born.  and he's over 55.  i guess it'd be nice not to have to pay a mortgage 'cos you're living in your dead parent's house.. but seriously?  i don't think i'd have felt like i'd lived.  whatever though.

on an unrelated note:

i was up until about 1.30a today studying for a midterm.  about 4a i was awoken to the sound of ruby barking/snarling incessantly at the bedroom door.  i don't know what the hell she was barking at, but it scared the hell out of me.  and then, i realized the power was out, which made it worse.  it was totally silent in the house, except for ruby's barking.  i finally fell back to sleep at around 6.15a, and had to be back up for work by 7a.  i slept through my alarm.  and was late for work.  grr!  so, i got about 4.5 hours of sleep last night.  i'd love to go to bed early tonight, but i'll be studying for my western civ (barf) midterm tonight.

oy.  later folks.

faithful blog.

i apologize for my absence this week.  it was, however, for good reason!  this has been one of my busiest weeks so far this semester!

monday i took my little sister to a show in topeka (for her school)

tuesday i spent trying to catch up on reading!

wednesday evening was kol nidre, so i was making attonement

thursday was yom kippur, and then i got to see sara!!!! and micah too!!!!  *see follwing

and now we're back to today!

i got a 93% on my western civ paper, which makes me happy, 'cos i really worked by tuchas off on that one!  (i worked very hard on my ENG 314 paper too, but only managed a C+  :(  i'm sad.)  and i set a topic for my term paper in my religions in america class (i'm going to work on Kabbalism - and the esoteric qualities of transmutation)  i'm not sure, it's all kinda muddy right now.  i'll develop it later!

*anyhow!  so i had a great dinner and conversation with sara last night!  we got to hear about a lot of her responsibilities in costa rica, and the trials of coming back into mainline american culture.  (i was really shocked when sara said "oh, i've never heard how sarah palin sounds")  you really take for granted having such immediate access to cultural events in the states.  this is not to mention, also, that we assume EVERY country is as interested in our culture as we are haha.  anyhow, then we went back to micah's place and scott helped sara on her resumé while i chattered away with micah which was great times!  

it's been a pretty good week!  now i need to go do craptons of housework!  you all have a great day!

לשלום חברים