אני חושב שצרלז יכול לנשק את התכת שלי
:]
i spent 160$ today at banana republican, and gap (and a little at AE, i know, ew) but got so much clothing for interviews!
two pairs of dress pants, 4 dress shirts, 4 pairs of sockies, and a couple pair of trunks. not too shabby!
i will be visiting kenneth cole when we go to chicago, to get a new pair of interview shoes. *grin* (ps, if you want to make me a happy little gay boy, http://www.kennethcole.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3072249&cp=3075215.3075278.3075281 would be highly appreciated)
:]
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
oh oh oh oh oh!
i had a dream last night, that should definitely be an episode of lawn and order criminal intent. (or any of the law and orders to be honest)
it was me solving this crazy murder, and it had all kinds of twists and turns. and the end was pretty disgusting.
here's how the dream went-
this little girl had been murdered, and no one knew who did it. they kept saying it was her brother, but i insisted it was someone else. i insisted it was the father/mother but it was a really rich family, so they had people surrounding them not letting me get "good evidence" - well, a lot of blurry stuff that i don't remember happened, and then i was in a room with the parents, the little boy (brother) and the maid. it turned out the mother had murdered the little girl 'cos she was the dad's favorite child, because the mother was upset that dad and the maid were having an affair.
the family didn't want it to get out, 'cos a) they were upper crust and b) they didn't want them to know it was because of the affair. well, i was like chained/tied up? and was watching a lot play out, and the maid threw the little boy into this huge kiln like device as it was on and she killed him too. then the maid came up and tried to bash my head open with an axe, but i woke up.
end dream seqeunce-
it was bizarre. and like, i saw the little kid being burned alive... yuck. but seriously, i need to start making stories out of my dreams. i could have a short story anthology by now if i'd kept track of them all... (this is also assuming anyone would be interested in reading what i have to write LOL)
alright, i had a shitty past couple of days, and i'm trying to convince mavis to go to KC for some retail therapy with me friday, and that's my decided cure-all. (i need an outfit for interviews) take care folks.
it was me solving this crazy murder, and it had all kinds of twists and turns. and the end was pretty disgusting.
here's how the dream went-
this little girl had been murdered, and no one knew who did it. they kept saying it was her brother, but i insisted it was someone else. i insisted it was the father/mother but it was a really rich family, so they had people surrounding them not letting me get "good evidence" - well, a lot of blurry stuff that i don't remember happened, and then i was in a room with the parents, the little boy (brother) and the maid. it turned out the mother had murdered the little girl 'cos she was the dad's favorite child, because the mother was upset that dad and the maid were having an affair.
the family didn't want it to get out, 'cos a) they were upper crust and b) they didn't want them to know it was because of the affair. well, i was like chained/tied up? and was watching a lot play out, and the maid threw the little boy into this huge kiln like device as it was on and she killed him too. then the maid came up and tried to bash my head open with an axe, but i woke up.
end dream seqeunce-
it was bizarre. and like, i saw the little kid being burned alive... yuck. but seriously, i need to start making stories out of my dreams. i could have a short story anthology by now if i'd kept track of them all... (this is also assuming anyone would be interested in reading what i have to write LOL)
alright, i had a shitty past couple of days, and i'm trying to convince mavis to go to KC for some retail therapy with me friday, and that's my decided cure-all. (i need an outfit for interviews) take care folks.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
waking up.
i'm secretly amused. but overly anxious.
i've got this feeling running through me that seems, to be honest, inappropriate. i feel like i've been lead astray, and the only way back is by crawling on my hands and knees through bits of broken glass, salt, rusty nails, dirt and salt. i'm sure some of it is my own damn fault, but i can't help that my emotions get the better of me sometimes.
i am craving the attention of (one) who wants (or has?) nothing more to offer than a few brief interactions. i'm terribly confused about where i should let my little universe shift.
i don't know how i should approach my future. i want to come at it, screaming like a banshee, but in all truth, i don't come at it, at all. i merely let its waves wash over me, often giving the impression i'm drowning.
and, i've got to say, i'm a bit hurt by a few "friends" as of right now. (could that sound any more emo? - or, for that matter, could what i've been saying all along sound any more emo? ugh.) but seriously, when one says one will go through with a plan, twice, and then one doesn't accomplish said plan, how am i to feel anything but (at least) mild irritation? O_o
okay, enough of my vaguities (word invention!) i need to sit and process.
לשום חברים שלי
i've got this feeling running through me that seems, to be honest, inappropriate. i feel like i've been lead astray, and the only way back is by crawling on my hands and knees through bits of broken glass, salt, rusty nails, dirt and salt. i'm sure some of it is my own damn fault, but i can't help that my emotions get the better of me sometimes.
i am craving the attention of (one) who wants (or has?) nothing more to offer than a few brief interactions. i'm terribly confused about where i should let my little universe shift.
i don't know how i should approach my future. i want to come at it, screaming like a banshee, but in all truth, i don't come at it, at all. i merely let its waves wash over me, often giving the impression i'm drowning.
and, i've got to say, i'm a bit hurt by a few "friends" as of right now. (could that sound any more emo? - or, for that matter, could what i've been saying all along sound any more emo? ugh.) but seriously, when one says one will go through with a plan, twice, and then one doesn't accomplish said plan, how am i to feel anything but (at least) mild irritation? O_o
okay, enough of my vaguities (word invention!) i need to sit and process.
לשום חברים שלי
Friday, May 22, 2009
i found him!
i'm so ready for chicago it's not funny. i intend on getting total usage out of those effin' metra passes (just like i did last time) and having a blast, culturally and subculturally. going to art institute, visiting (or attempting to visit) several of my friends that have since moved up there. and going to a drag show at (hopefully) hydrate. a very sweet man gave me the info for hydrate. thanks ryan :]
on an unrelated note, we took ruby to the vet today for her annual apperntment. she got her shots updated, and got her blood tests, and got her nails did... and oooh gurl, she be done look beautifer!
seriously, it was good. and she's such a good little dog at the vet. he even told her she had beautiful teeth! (which is true, 'cos we brush them twice a week for her)
getting ready to have dinner with m'allison and brenda. but before that, i think i shall water my garden. later folksters.
on an unrelated note, we took ruby to the vet today for her annual apperntment. she got her shots updated, and got her blood tests, and got her nails did... and oooh gurl, she be done look beautifer!
seriously, it was good. and she's such a good little dog at the vet. he even told her she had beautiful teeth! (which is true, 'cos we brush them twice a week for her)
getting ready to have dinner with m'allison and brenda. but before that, i think i shall water my garden. later folksters.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
raphé
i've got a trillion fucking things spinning through my mind at the moment.
unusual? no.
but today they're much "heavier" than usual. one or two of them is tearing at my heart strings, and that makes me angry and closed off. the bitch of it all, is i don't have anyone with whom i an talk about it. i truly need my getaway. it's coming, soon, but not soon enough.
i feel that another week at my job is going to render me unfit for human consumption. honestly. i felt like screaming my entire shift yesterday.
one of the positive things running through my mind, is that i'm reconsidering the raphé ladder. (a series of frenum piercings along the underside of my wee-willy-winkie)
list of negatives,
ouch. out of "commission" for a good 2-3 weeks. problems walking for a few days. ouch.
list of positives,
they look awesome. personal growth (in the metaphysical terms). i'll have speedbumps! hehehe
ugh... i think i'm going to take a bike ride.
unusual? no.
but today they're much "heavier" than usual. one or two of them is tearing at my heart strings, and that makes me angry and closed off. the bitch of it all, is i don't have anyone with whom i an talk about it. i truly need my getaway. it's coming, soon, but not soon enough.
i feel that another week at my job is going to render me unfit for human consumption. honestly. i felt like screaming my entire shift yesterday.
one of the positive things running through my mind, is that i'm reconsidering the raphé ladder. (a series of frenum piercings along the underside of my wee-willy-winkie)
list of negatives,
ouch. out of "commission" for a good 2-3 weeks. problems walking for a few days. ouch.
list of positives,
they look awesome. personal growth (in the metaphysical terms). i'll have speedbumps! hehehe
ugh... i think i'm going to take a bike ride.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
what can i do!?! what can i do!?!
well, i've been using the wii fit for the past three days. at first i kinda assumed it'd be a joke, but i had a discussion about it with derek's hubby, chad. he said that it was really working him. well, as luck (or whatever) would have it, there was one for a very reasonable price at my work. (think 30$ off) i've got to say, my abs are killing me. every time i sneeze, it's torture! (which means i was in worse shape than i'd originally thought)
so yay chad! for recommending such a great tool!
for those of you who don't follow my facespace. i've been listing graduation present ideas. LOL. i realize no one should have to buy you anything, but these are a few items that might be necessary in the upcoming months.
i'd love a DSLR camera, an ipod nano (red or green 16g), a macbook air. i have some others to put up, but i don't want to reveal too much........
on an unrelated note. HOLY FUCKING SHIT I'M DONE WITH MY LIFE AS AN UNDERGRAD! (G-d willing) if i passed my PHIL exam on monday, i'll be a college graduate. it's rather hard to comprehend. and, i'm not truly sure it's hit me yet. and, i realize that it's not really that big of a deal, but for me it is. i flunked out of my first semester of university, and then dropped out of school altogether at one point. so this, for me, is big.
aside from that, i've just been whirling around the house, trying to get it nice and clean for company on sunday. it's amazing how much i'd let it go to pot. but, i thought i'd just take a moment and reflect while i listen to sigur ros and have the dog sleeping on the floor at my feet.
so yay chad! for recommending such a great tool!
for those of you who don't follow my facespace. i've been listing graduation present ideas. LOL. i realize no one should have to buy you anything, but these are a few items that might be necessary in the upcoming months.
i'd love a DSLR camera, an ipod nano (red or green 16g), a macbook air. i have some others to put up, but i don't want to reveal too much........
on an unrelated note. HOLY FUCKING SHIT I'M DONE WITH MY LIFE AS AN UNDERGRAD! (G-d willing) if i passed my PHIL exam on monday, i'll be a college graduate. it's rather hard to comprehend. and, i'm not truly sure it's hit me yet. and, i realize that it's not really that big of a deal, but for me it is. i flunked out of my first semester of university, and then dropped out of school altogether at one point. so this, for me, is big.
aside from that, i've just been whirling around the house, trying to get it nice and clean for company on sunday. it's amazing how much i'd let it go to pot. but, i thought i'd just take a moment and reflect while i listen to sigur ros and have the dog sleeping on the floor at my feet.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
long live the king!
i have one last final tonight. holy fucking shit. so unceremoniously ending with western civ 2 final.
i've been doing more in the yard. 'cos i love love love being outside. it's muggy as all get out today, though. i'm hoping that means we'll get some rain. but hopefully not while i'm walking to my final. :\
doing a lot of housework for the upcoming sunday event. and at the sunday event, my big announcement! yay!
have a lot (i mean a LOT) swirling around inside my ol' head right now. and it makes for a unpleasant experience being me at the time. i'd really like to hash it out, but it doesn't make sense no matter which way i write it (or even speak it)
i'm feeling socially frustrated. i'm feeling socially malignant. i'm feeling socially neglected. i'm feeling socially irresponsible. i'm feeling socially isolated.
mostly, i'm feeling misunderstood, and that, dear friends, is the worst feeling of them all.
i've been doing more in the yard. 'cos i love love love being outside. it's muggy as all get out today, though. i'm hoping that means we'll get some rain. but hopefully not while i'm walking to my final. :\
doing a lot of housework for the upcoming sunday event. and at the sunday event, my big announcement! yay!
have a lot (i mean a LOT) swirling around inside my ol' head right now. and it makes for a unpleasant experience being me at the time. i'd really like to hash it out, but it doesn't make sense no matter which way i write it (or even speak it)
i'm feeling socially frustrated. i'm feeling socially malignant. i'm feeling socially neglected. i'm feeling socially irresponsible. i'm feeling socially isolated.
mostly, i'm feeling misunderstood, and that, dear friends, is the worst feeling of them all.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
a bit of tender vittles
i am graduating in one week. ONE week. that terrifies me. obviously. i'm also feeling amazingly serene. it's going to happen (G-d willing) whether i like it or not, so i figure i'll just let it come.
anyhow, today has been nice. i went to topeka to see my mother for mother's day. we had a nice little brunch at my sister's house, and it was very tasty. (particularly this blueberry + cream cheese french toast concoction my mother made.)
after that, we went to a greenhouse/nursery just north of town and got my momma lots and lots of plants. we got some tarragon, basil, parsley, rosemary, oregano, and pineapple sage. we also got her this gorgeous purple rose bush, and a new lilac bush to replace the one my little sister accidentally mowed over last year. (oops!) i decided to get myself a little patchouli plant. it's so cute, and it smells so great! i'm not sure how that'll go, but, we'll see!
after we got home, i planted the lilac bush that we bought for scott's mother after she died (that makes it sound awful) we actually bought it in leu of flowers. and then i planted my purple basil, and my sweet basil. scott also had a thing of "candy mint" that i planted. here's hoping they all do well!
i love gardening. maybe too much.
t-minus one week to my big announcement!
anyhow, today has been nice. i went to topeka to see my mother for mother's day. we had a nice little brunch at my sister's house, and it was very tasty. (particularly this blueberry + cream cheese french toast concoction my mother made.)
after that, we went to a greenhouse/nursery just north of town and got my momma lots and lots of plants. we got some tarragon, basil, parsley, rosemary, oregano, and pineapple sage. we also got her this gorgeous purple rose bush, and a new lilac bush to replace the one my little sister accidentally mowed over last year. (oops!) i decided to get myself a little patchouli plant. it's so cute, and it smells so great! i'm not sure how that'll go, but, we'll see!
after we got home, i planted the lilac bush that we bought for scott's mother after she died (that makes it sound awful) we actually bought it in leu of flowers. and then i planted my purple basil, and my sweet basil. scott also had a thing of "candy mint" that i planted. here's hoping they all do well!
i love gardening. maybe too much.
t-minus one week to my big announcement!
Monday, May 4, 2009
clarity, or bullshit. whichever.
my brain is about to explode. i have so so so so so much on my mind. and i really want to talk about it, but i'm going to keep it under the toupe' until sunday, may 17th.
i think, instead, i'll write it down in my true/real journal. (like the paper and pen one)
ps. i'm going to get some rocks for a border so i can build a little "garden" along my driveway today. and also along the upper part of my sidewalk. (i'll take pictures)
nuts. and stuff. seriously, i had so much clarity today, and now i understand so much that i'm going to need to do. and i'm terrified, and i'm a little upset. but i'll do what i need to!
i think, instead, i'll write it down in my true/real journal. (like the paper and pen one)
ps. i'm going to get some rocks for a border so i can build a little "garden" along my driveway today. and also along the upper part of my sidewalk. (i'll take pictures)
nuts. and stuff. seriously, i had so much clarity today, and now i understand so much that i'm going to need to do. and i'm terrified, and i'm a little upset. but i'll do what i need to!
Friday, May 1, 2009
i'm just a small town girl.
a bunch of milestones!
well, this is apparently my 100th blogspot post. woohoo! strangely enough, it's not met with much fanfare. hahaha
as i was sitting here on the 26th anniversary of the day of my birth, i was pondering "what have i done for the world?" the truth is, i'm not really sure. but, one thing is for certain, i did become "gay-daddy" to a wonderfully sweet little belgian shepherd named ruby-moobie hilly-billie criqui-edmonds! and, the best birthday present, was ruby giving me lots of kisses to wake me up this morning. :]
on to more important things. i need a job. a real job. and if you know of anything, throw some info my way. i am not above nepotism. :] i have been looking not only along the I70 corridor, but in emporia, minneapolis, austin, chicago, and bay area as well. (i figure what the hell, might as well have fun with it)
okay. i'm feeling a bit peckish, i'm going to eat something, and then get ready to head to KC for birthday dinner/dancin'!
well, this is apparently my 100th blogspot post. woohoo! strangely enough, it's not met with much fanfare. hahaha
as i was sitting here on the 26th anniversary of the day of my birth, i was pondering "what have i done for the world?" the truth is, i'm not really sure. but, one thing is for certain, i did become "gay-daddy" to a wonderfully sweet little belgian shepherd named ruby-moobie hilly-billie criqui-edmonds! and, the best birthday present, was ruby giving me lots of kisses to wake me up this morning. :]
on to more important things. i need a job. a real job. and if you know of anything, throw some info my way. i am not above nepotism. :] i have been looking not only along the I70 corridor, but in emporia, minneapolis, austin, chicago, and bay area as well. (i figure what the hell, might as well have fun with it)
okay. i'm feeling a bit peckish, i'm going to eat something, and then get ready to head to KC for birthday dinner/dancin'!
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