waking up.

i'm secretly amused. but overly anxious.

i've got this feeling running through me that seems, to be honest, inappropriate. i feel like i've been lead astray, and the only way back is by crawling on my hands and knees through bits of broken glass, salt, rusty nails, dirt and salt. i'm sure some of it is my own damn fault, but i can't help that my emotions get the better of me sometimes.

i am craving the attention of (one) who wants (or has?) nothing more to offer than a few brief interactions. i'm terribly confused about where i should let my little universe shift.

i don't know how i should approach my future. i want to come at it, screaming like a banshee, but in all truth, i don't come at it, at all. i merely let its waves wash over me, often giving the impression i'm drowning.

and, i've got to say, i'm a bit hurt by a few "friends" as of right now. (could that sound any more emo? - or, for that matter, could what i've been saying all along sound any more emo? ugh.) but seriously, when one says one will go through with a plan, twice, and then one doesn't accomplish said plan, how am i to feel anything but (at least) mild irritation? O_o

okay, enough of my vaguities (word invention!) i need to sit and process.
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